Grappling with Comparison

Hey y’all! Happy Sunday! It’s been absolutely GORGEOUS here (weather in the high 60’s to 80’s… yep. 80’s!). I wore shorts today. In February. I’m definitely not in Missouri any more. Missouri friends, I miss y’all! But I don’t miss that weather.

This weekend, I went on a women’s retreat titled, “Worthy.” I have often struggled with feeling unworthy- unworthy of God’s love and forgiveness, unworthy of my husband’s love, unworthy of the blessings God has given me. Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I have struggled even more with feelings of not being worth much. I often mentally beat myself up by referring to myself as “just a stay-at-home mom” or “just a dishwasher and diaper changer.” My husband goes to work every day and helps people and uses his brain, while I stay at home and take care of my daughter and change poopy diapers and clean the house. While intrinsically I know that I am doing an important job by raising my daughter, keeping her safe, teaching her important skills, and spending one-on-one time with her, I often compare myself to what my husband or others are doing. When I compare myself to them, I tend to view what I’m doing as unimportant compared to what they’re doing.

Compared. Did you notice that word in the last sentence of the previous paragraph? Compared. I am comparing the important job that I am doing to someone who has a completely different, also important, job. As the saying goes, it’s like comparing apples and oranges. Or Reba McIntyre and Celine Dion. Both great performers. Both TOTALLY different: different voice types, different music genre, different audiences, different hair.

I compare myself (an apple) to oranges all the time. And as I compare myself to others , I start to believe that they have perfect lives, are better humans, have greener grass in their yard, and so on. And when I believe these thoughts, I become less satisfied and content with all the blessings God has given me. Comparison robs us of joy. It robs us of contentment.

Social media has been the root of a lot of my comparison and discontentment. We only post pretty/filtered/edited things on social media. Social medi posts only show a teeny tiny part of the whole picture. Even if the post is of something unpleasant, we still a) have a motive and b) are only showing part of the picture. I have talked with a lot of women recently who have similar feelings as me. I recently took a hiatus from Facebook, and I think I’m going to return to it, because I enjoyed communicating with many different friends who live all over the place. While I’ve been off Facebook, I’ve spent more time on Instagram. I had made my account public in an attempt to possibly advertise this blog. However, God has been telling me to forgo that endeavor. It was eating away at me.  I felt like I had to filter my life, and I was also worried about who was following me, especially sicne there are pictures of my family on my account.

Soooo… I just made my Instagram account private again. I’m not going to worry about become “Instagram famous” for this blog or whatever it’s called. And wow, do I have an incredible peace about that decision. Trying to keep up with other bloggers was slowly destroying me. I went through and removed followers who I do not know personally. I plan to go through and unfollow any accounts that do not feed my soul. If I find that I wish my life looked like theirs, or if they are posting things that are not uplifting, I will unfollow them. I have realized I need to start making sure I surround myself with realistic expectations and uplifting messages. Yes, I will come across people and social media accounts that seem perfect and I will undoubtedly compare myself to them. I get that there is no escaping it completely. But for now, I’m removing extra temptations so I can work on becoming content with my life and with who I am.

“And he said to them, ‘Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.’” Luke 12:15 ESV

“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10 ESV

What are some things you have found help you focus on your blessings?

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I'm a Jesus follower, wife, and mom. I have been caught in a Costa Rican riot, once accidentally insulted Gavin DeGraw, and really want to visit Lichtenstein. I love long, romantic walks through the rain forest. I make cakes sometimes. I'm a mess, and I'm learning to embrace that.

One thought on “Grappling with Comparison”

  1. “Comparison robs us of joy. It robs us of contentment.”

    mmhmm. I struggle watching people I know who filter their instagram and it just makes me want to engage with them less.

    In the opposite direction, I find relief and rest in being “just mom.” In that persona, people’s expectations are very different and I can almost protect myself under that badge and make room for myself and define what being mama means to me.


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